100 Things
Intervjuade Sebastian Terry idag som har skrivit boken 100 Things: What's on Your List?
For att gora en lang historia kort sa dog en av hans vanner i 2004, nar Sebastian var 24. Hans vans dod fick honom att tanka over vad han egentligen ville gora med sitt liv.
Hitills hade han gjort allt enligt samhallets regler; haft en trygg uppvaxt med en bra familj, gatt klart grundskolan, pluggat vidare, rest och sparat pengar.
Men var inte lycklig.
Det har ar skrivet av honom:
Three years later though, after obtaining a degree and accumulating some $17,000 in student loans, I still felt no true calling. I was twenty-two years old and confused. On paper I’d accomplished all that society had encouraged me to do but in reality I remained lost. The overwhelming expectation that I become financially secure was still ringing loudly in my ears but by this stage I’d developed a curiosity that I couldn’t shake; why did financial security seem to take precedence over everything else?
My quick-fix solution was to travel and so I spent the next few years of my life drifting aimlessly overseas as I tried to search for an answer to one simple question: What do I want to do with my life? This though remained unanswered and so, by the time I’d completely run out of money at the age of twenty-four, somewhere in the middle of Canada I might add, I’d begun readying myself to return home to Australia in preparation for the inevitable next step of finding a career. I saw no other alternative.
One week before my flight home, I noticed what I thought was a mistake on my bank statement. They had swindled me out of $200! Naturally I got in touch with the bank to reclaim the last of my money but, within minutes of speaking to the gentleman at the other end of the line, learned that the only mistake was that of my own maths – I was not owed anything. Just as I was about to hang up the phone in embarrassment, the man added, ‘Sebastian, by the way, my computer is telling me that I can extend your credit card limit by $3500, on the spot. Does this interest you?’
It did, and within ten minutes of hanging up the phone, I had made plans to visit one more place before flying home. You see, I’d always wanted to go to Las Vegas and I saw this moment as possibly the last opportunity to do it before securing a proper job and, that old chestnut, financial stability.
It was on the eve of flying out that I heard the news about Chris.
Chris, or Detho, as everyone knew him, was a close friend of mine. We grew up together in high school. We played rugby together, rowed together and shared beers together. Detho was everyone’s best mate. He was a legend in his own right.
The phone call I received from a mutual friend back in Australia stopped me in my tracks; Detho had died overnight. He too was twenty-four years old. I fell silent on the phone. To be honest, I can’t recall what was said after that.
Logistically, I couldn’t get back in time for the funeral and as such was left in North America, feeling useless. All I could do was to think and before long I decided to start writing. I wrote down all my thoughts on pages and pages of scrap paper as a way of trying to make some sense of what had happened.
My parents of course attended the funeral back in Sydney. They, along with hundreds of others, had to stand outside the church, due to the sheer number of people grieving the loss.
Death sparks reflection, first of the deceased, and then of yourself. There were many questions in my head at that time but there was one in particular that I couldn’t look past: If Detho knew that that particular day was going to be his last, would he have changed anything? Would he have changed his last week, his last month or even his last year? Ultimately, given another chance, would Detho have changed the way he lived up to that point, full stop?
Although I could only guess, I think Detho’s answer would have been no; he wouldn’t have changed a thing. His life revolved around his friends, family and good times. He surrounded himself with the things he loved until his last day and as I saw it, he was happy because of it.
With this same question in mind, I pondered my own situation. Could I say the same thing? If I knew I was to die next year, next month, next week or even that very day, would I change anything? I thought about this long and hard, first considering everything I had done and then taking into account how I felt inside.
Unlike Detho, my answer was yes; I would change something.
This wasn’t just a question that disappeared from my consciousness after a moment’s thought. It stuck with me, and does to this day. With my affirmative answer came a realisation that there was a huge problem: I was not living as I wanted to; fundamentally, I wasn’t happy. I was furious with myself. Who would allow such a thing? The answer was me! I had never felt so angry. For the first time I had seen my own life with absolute clarity, and I realised I wasn’t who I wanted to be.
Immediately I began to question everything. Why was I not out there achieving all my true dreams and desires – the things that I wanted to do? In my eyes I had been wasting my life up to that point in an effort to walk a path of comfort, a path that society had dictated for me.
The next question was obvious as it was pivotal in my life: If given another chance, what would I do differently?
I fetched another piece of paper and again started to write.
Death puts things into perspective. We only have one life.
After scribbling frantically for a while, I put the pen back on the table and looked at what I’d written. It was a list of 100 things that I had always wanted to do, dreams and goals that would test me on all kinds of levels – physical, mental and emotional. As I peered down at the plethora of challenges before me, I was suddenly filled with possibility and excitement. I had even left room on the list for things I was yet to discover. I labelled these ‘TBA’.
Calmness soon replaced my anger as I grasped something just as important as the question itself: I was not dead, I was alive. I had a chance to make a change. With this realisation I immediately felt empowered, flooded with energy and a determination not to waste my life from that day on. There in front of me, on that piece of paper, was the key to my self-fulfilment. This was my chance to answer no, I wouldn’t change a thing.
The next day I flew to Vegas and three days later I married a stranger.
Although at face value, marrying a stranger was certainly an odd thing to do, it was the first time I remember feeling like I’d accomplished something of meaning. This sense of achievement was something I’d never felt before. It wasn’t so much the fact that it involved a stretch Hummer, wedding vows and a celebrity impersonator, but more so the underlying fact that for the first time in my life I’d simply achieved a goal that I’d identified as important to me. Although seemingly a bizarre goal to pursue in light of Detho’s passing, it was something I felt compelled to do because of it.
By sheer coincidence, Detho’s funeral occurred on the very same day as my Vegas wedding. I think this was a sign. It was at that moment I decided that I would complete my list.
Sebastian, 30 ar, haller fortfarande pa att bocka av alla saker pa sin lista (han har 45 saker kvar att gora).
See hans lista och las mer om honom har
Han vagrar ta emot donationer och sponsorships (en amerikansk miljonar erbjod en blank check dar han kunde skriva i vilket belopp han ville men han sa nej).
Istallet samlar han pengar till valgorenhets organisationen Camp Quality.
Hans liv har blivit varit uppmarksammat i media over hela varlden, och han jobbar numera som en speaker. Nar vi sags idag planerade han for fullt for att aka till USA och Hawaii for att prata med, och forhoppningsvis inspirera, publiker pa tusentals manniskor.
Hans hemsida 100things.com.au har massa anhangare som sjalva har satt egna mal, och forsoker hjalpa andra att uppna sina.
Jag ar van vid att vara den som fragar fragorna i mitt jobb, men nar jag traffade honom imorse fragade han, efter att vi gatt igeom vara artighetsfraser: `What would you do if money was not an issue?'
Det forsta jag kom att tanka pa var resa.
Men visst ar det en svar fraga? Vad skulle du gora om pengar inte var ett hinder?
Det är personer som den här killen som jag beundrar. Att ta tjuren vid hornen och våga satsa, det är inspirerande!
Undrar: är han fortfarande gift med Las Vegas hugget?
Bara ta massa underbara kurser i vackra saker som gåvor till min själ och mig själv.